TRUE TO MY INNER (CHI)LD…

Hi! Before I start, I’d like to profess 2 things:

I have no clue what my future will look like. BUT

I know I’m destined for greatness.

Growing up, my conception of the future existed within a very limited time frame. Give or take 6-12 months was as far-reaching as my brain could imagine. I never thought about my dream job (why would I ever dream to work?), marriage and kids, or even my dream car. I dreaded looking ahead, simply because I didn’t want to grow up. So, on the off occasion I sought beyond what my next breakfast would be, I would visualize concerts and holidays, with the most stressful thing on the agenda being my next birthday party. For several years, this mentality worked in my favor. My free-spirited nature allowed me to live life in the present moment, without anxieties or worries about things I couldn’t control. And my inherent independence and ambitiousness paved a path for me to succeed academically, which quickly placed me on a pedestal by my parents. Towards the end of high school, when the mindset of my peers started shifting towards the very scary and uncertain “future”, I felt most comfortable enjoying my last teenage years in the present. But very quickly, that pedestal morphed into a box that continuously shrunk, leaving me gasping for air by the end of senior year. The immense pressure I felt to make my family proud caused me to make thoughtless decisions about the future- specifically in my career. Unfortunately (and fortunately), it wasn’t until the pandemic hit that I began to regret my commitments. 

And boy, was it a pain in my ass.

For me, 2020 was a blessing and a curse. For starters, I was given the time and space to look far enough into the future and envision where my path was headed. But after I processed this reality, I was left lost, confused, and having an identity crisis every other day. Not only did I commit to 8+ years of school, but it was for a career I felt no passion in. Looking back, the irony was comical. Instead of my previous accomplishments (and the constant praise I received from it) propelling me forward towards ambition and success, it had the opposite effect. Instead of being bold and taking risks in my career, I went for the safest route that guaranteed stability. Instead of living within the present moment, I focused so much on the future that I missed out on the opportunities in front of me. From an early age, success had become so ingrained in my identity that who I was and what I wanted had become a product of my anxieties about failure. 

This realization stuck with me until the final years of college. So, a week before graduation, I made one of the most thoughtful decisions of my life: I took a year off. After years of trying to fit a mold much too small to contain me, I felt ready to start over and reintroduce myself, to myself. The past several months have been spent reconnecting with myself (my passions, desires, and values) before deciding the next career step. And after much introspection and reflection, I refocus on both the present moment and the future. But instead of birthday parties and holidays, I look forward to the growth and change I can cultivate these next 12 months- changes that I believe will help lead me towards my destined path.

*Sigh* Okay. Now that you know my whole life story. Here are 10 goals/thoughts I have going into 2023:

1. Launch my professional athleisure brand, Badi by Amadi

• The past several months, I’ve worked on developing my first ever brand, Badi by Amadi. Badi by Amadi is a women’s professional athleisure clothing line focused on bridging the gap between work and life. Through the Three Pillars (Functional, Fashionable, and Professional), I hope to inspire more movement, more freedom, and more longevity amongst the new generation of young remote workers.

• This is my child. And the product of the creative freedom I’ve had with this time off.

2. Staying true to my word

• This will encourage me to be more forthright about my true feelings. Instead of committing to something and flaking later, I’m upfront about whether I can truly be relied upon. 

3. Continue learning- in and out of school

• I’ve always been eager to learn. So being out of school feels a bit foreign. I still want to stimulate myself mentally in three primary ways:

1. Learning about the world - reading a new book every month

2. Learning about my community - volunteering and community efforts

3. Learning about myself - going to therapy

4. Finding “peace with pace”

• One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in this time off is that everyone’s timeline is different. I may not be headed to grad school in the near future like many of my peers, but I’m learning to make peace with my own unique journey towards success.

5. Embracing my Nigerian roots

• For the longest time, I disassociated myself with my African roots because of how difficult it was growing up American with traditional Nigerian parents. The dualities in culture (and the struggles that come with it) is something only first-generation children of immigrants will understand, but it’s also something that makes us incredibly unique. Moving forward, I want to embrace this uniqueness by visiting my parent’s home town, learning to cook the amazing signature dishes, and more.

6. Keeping in touch

• Post-grad life is crazy in that the friends you once saw every second of everyday, you only get to see when time permits. Maintaining friendships now requires effort, something I’m learning as a chronically bad responder.

7. CREATE

• Whenever I create my soul gleams.

• This year, I want to continue creating, exploring, and inspiring myself with new projects and ideas.

8. Take risks (this one is the hardest for me)

• Taking risks can lead to growth, learning, and success.

• As I mentioned before, my relationship with risk has been rocky the past couple of years. One of my greatest challenges this year (and hopefully greatest rewards) will be making bolder moves towards my goals and ambitions. Instead of always choosing the safest option, I’ll push myself out of my comfort zone because that is where I’ll grow the most.

9. Be unafraid to fail

• Tying back to the previous, I need to be fearless in order to take risks. Failure is inevitable and necessary for change. What matters is picking myself up and approaching that situation with a growth mindset.

10. Always stay true to my inner child

• Whenever I find myself having an existential crisis about who I am and what I’m doing with my life, I like to refer to myself as a child. Luckily, I lived in an age where cellphones and social media didn’t exist, so most of my free time at home was spent playing, moving, or creating. I encourage anyone reading this to ask themselves this: As a kid, without any of the financial worries, personal commitments, or expectations that adult life demands, what made you happy? The answer to that is usually what grounds me.