YOU ARE YOU…
It’s hard to believe that I will be turning 24 this year. It sounds cliche, but it really feels like just yesterday I was still in high school, still just a teenager. When you’re a kid you look at the adult world and it all seems so alien. I used to look at office buildings and wonder what people could be doing in there- clearly something so complex that I wouldn’t even understand it until I too entered the realm of adulthood. I was sure that I would wake up one day, maybe when I turned 18, or maybe 21, and I would feel different- I would wake up and think “Ahh, so this is what it’s like!”...But here I am, turning 24, and I’m still the same me. There were no secret formulas, no ceremony into this new world. I ask my friends who work in those once allusive office buildings what it's like and realize there is nothing otherworldly… just a lot of Microsoft Excel.
Suddenly, the illusion of adulthood shattered right in front of my eyes and the sound of its crash shook me out of my haze. I’m not 17 anymore, even though it feels just the same. Looking back on this past year, my life has changed in ways I never would have predicted. Sometimes it feels like I am not even me, but just my younger self watching from beyond, as my avatar navigates through reality. So, as this new year dawns, I wait in anxious anticipation of what the future holds. Although the world always surprises me with new adventures and challenges, here are a few things that I hope to strive for and reflect on in 2023…
1. Building Bridges: In a cultural climate that feels so splintered and irreconcilable, I hope to focus on the bridges that I can build within my community. Whether it is a creative endeavor with a new friend, or a candid conversation with someone who thinks differently than myself, I aim to build bridges instead of walls.
2. Creating Instead of Consuming: I have grown so accustomed to deriving my satisfaction from consumption. This may be in the form of scrolling on social media, over-shopping, or watching TV all day. Although these things can feel good, and are often some of the only ways we know how to “reward ourselves”, in this new year I aim to create more than I consume. I want to be satisfied by my work, instead of looking for satisfaction thorugh escapism from my work.
3. Minimizing Comparison: It can be so hard to not constantly compare your life to those around you. In a society fueled on competition we have been hard wired to always look at what those around us are doing and wonder how we can surpass them. Not only does this lead to distrust and resentment between individuals, but also makes it impossible for us to ever be satisfied by our progress. This year I will be trying to minimize the constant comparisons, and trust my own path.
4. Happiness is fleeting: I always saw my goal in life as pretty simple- to be happy. I imagined this future as a continual state of contentment. A moment where I finally would have everything in order. I have come to realize that this is an impossible illusion. Happiness is nothing but an emotion, fleeting and often random. Now, instead of seeing happiness as a goal, I aim to appreciate it when it arises, but not despair upon its dispersal.
5. Your time will come: Everyone’s timeline looks different. This past year I remember countless moments of jealousy or comparison at the accomplishments of my peers. Moments where I wondered- why not me? Did I not deserve the same? But, my time always came. I feel silly looking back at how worried I was about my own progress. Remember that your time will come when you are truly ready for it.
6. Practice Patience: It seems like our lives move so fast. In the world of modern technology we are so used to instant gratification. But, although our technology has evolved rapidly, our human brains are far behind. In 2023, I am aiming to remember that people are just humans. We don’t have the rapid certainty of a supercomputer. Humans make mistakes, we do things we regret, things we don’t always understand- and that’s OK.
7. Look to the past: Our pasts are not something to be consumed and forgotten. The people we have met, the places we have gone, and the things we have learned have created the people that we are today. And that doesn’t mean we should just use these experiences to further our own growth, but that we should honor each and every one of these occurrences. In this new year I want to challenge myself to reach out to the people who I miss, appreciate the places I love, and delve into the knowledge that I have collected.
8. Don’t be afraid of doubt: As we grow older, we often are confronted with uncomfortable truths that cause us to doubt things we may have always felt were so certain. Instead of cowering from these challenges, we should embrace these doubts, explore them, and allow them to lead us to deeper understanding.
9. Nobody has it figured out: Sometimes it seems like everyone else is floating through life untroubled while we struggle to keep it together. Looking back at 2022, I reflect on the people I met who gave me a candid perspective on their own lives, and how we connected over the chaos and confusion of the human experience. It may seem like some people have it all squared away, but I promise, they are just better at pretending than you are.
10. You are YOU: This is my mantra for 2023. I am not what someone thinks of me, I am not what I think about myself, I am not what the world tells me I am. I am ME. I am a constant flux of thoughts, emotions, and experiences. In the new year I aim to stop attempting to define myself, and instead just be myself.
